Wow. So, I guess I lied. More depressing posts for now.
On my way home from being out today, I stopped by my parents house to pick something up that I needed to bring home with me. My mom had posted some song lyrics on Facebook and the girlfriend was really confused by it and took it as a shot at her because of the most recent happenings in our relationship (refer to my last few blog posts). It was misunderstood but she felt confused so she wrote a blog about it. (read it yourself to see if it was in any way offensive toward my mother) http://thestayathomewoman.blogspot.com/2013/04/paint-target-on-my-back.html
Well, my mom took it upon herself to read the blog, get offended, and write a different Facebook status with other song lyrics and the comment "Blog on THAT one!". Seeing as I am trying to handle this situation and fix what is broken between myself and the girlfriend, or even see if it is possible to fix it, this is not helping me.Being a grown ass man, I asked her what was going on with that. She told me that the girlfriend deserved it and that if she was going to post things about people in her blog then she should expect comments like that.
This whole thing is not making my issue any easier. It's making it much more challenging. Throughout all the things that have gone on between my mother and I in my past, she hasn't changed a single bit. When I moved out, she had a really large heart to heart conversation with me. She apologized to me for trying to control my life. She said that she was trying to control everything around her because she tried so hard to control my dad's drinking and couldn't. She wanted control of the rest of her life so that she felt more secure and perhaps maybe more accomplished. I don't know but that would make sense to me. (notice, the accomplished part was merely an opinion)
When she was done apologizing, she told me that is was going to be different now. She said that she realized what she was doing ant that it was wrong. That I'm an adult now and she would treat me as one, not as a 12 year old child and tell me what to do and get upset when I don't do it.
Now I talked to both my parents about the isssues that the girlfriend and I were having because I value their opinion. Note: I said OPINION not MANDATE. I got the chance to talk to my dad for a bit while we were on a run to Auto Zone to get transmission fluid for my Jeep because we had just done a tune up and realized that it was bone dry. He gave me some pointers and advice but told me that it was ultimately my decision how to handle it. I thanked him and went into thought about it, keeping his suggestions in mind. When we got back, my mother brought up the subject and asked if I wanted to talk about it. I said "not really, dad and I already talked and I think I've come to a decision". So naturally, mom wanted to throw her two cents in there.
"It's not your problem." "Just leave her. It's her fault and her problem if she doesn't have a job or a car. Just leave." These were her suggestions. May have butchered the exact quote but that's along the lines at least. So when I told her that I was part of the problem with the girlfriend's lack of a car and that if I were to leave her without a car then she wouldn't be able to get a job, which would leave her out on the street with nowhere to go for shelter and no food. She would be screwed. My mom got all upset and raised her voice and gave me the same answer "It's not your problem."
So let's see here now, if my mom gives me a "suggestion" and I don't do exactly what she wants then she gets upset with me. Then, because she is frustrated, makes passive-aggressive comments via Facebook to further aggravate things. The only way I could make her happy is to do exactly what she wanted me to do and to do it as fast as possible. Now, i don't know about you but isn't that more of a mandate than a suggestion? So seeing as she told me that she wouldn't treat me like a child but then gives me a mandate, I don't see where anything has changed. She is trying to guilt trip me into doing what she wants me to by making me feel bad, like I disappointed her. When that doesn't work, she got upset and started lashing out because things didn't go her way.
When I said something about the comments on Facebook, she flipped out on me if you recall from earlier in the post. So I walked out and slammed the door with no intention of speaking to her for quite some time. As soon as I got home, she was deleted from my Facebook and her number was blocked from my phone. This has been going on for years. I joined the US Marine corps and still got treated like I was twelve. I moved out, got treated like I was 12. Moved back in with the promise that I would be seen as my own person, got treated like I was 12. Then moved out again, with the promise of it not being the same, and well, you see how it ended up.
Now I said some kind of offensive things when I walked out but that was because I was feeling offended by my mom. I texted my dad 15 minutes or so ago to make sure the things I said didn't affect his and my mothers relationship. They have been having some issues for some time now and they go back and forth from being ok and fighting. It usually revolves around my dad's drinking and my mom's strict belief that every single problem (potentially including world hunger) can be solved by him quitting drinking alcohol. My dad flipped out on me too. So as a result, his phone number has been blocked from my phone too.
I have completely failed everyone I know. I am a complete and utter disappointment to my family and my friends. I really don't know what to do anymore. I am a useless waste of space. I really just wish I could disappear...
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